This refers to when your new girlfriend takes it upon herself to talk about your cock like it’s a pet, listen love, using the words ’small’ and ‘cute’ towards a man is like us saying the words ‘fat’ and ‘ugly’ to you…….just suck it and leave the small talk out of it. The opening lyrics of the song/film Dirty Dancing, delusioned women believe it’s a romantic gesture and will get you in the mood for love, when in fact the only thing it gets you in the mood for is a trip to the dog and gun. Happens to the best of us, you know your broke but you say something like ‘oh silly me I brought the wrong card I’ll be back later’ and laugh as you walk away, but crying inside because you spent the rent. When a gay friend you have known since you were 4 spits out this line one Sunday morning after a night out. Hollyoaks simply isn’t what it used to be, the hot scantily clad women have been replaced by suicidal cross dressing emo’s that sleep with there own sister. OK so if your in love or happily married it’s OK, but generally speaking those words let out a howling scream in your brain knowing that your beer and football has gone, and the sleepless nights and a liquid producing 5lb blood bag has replaced it, oh and don’t forget the financial ruin. You only have £3.50 in your pocket When your head voices say things like ‘I wonder what her intestines look like’ or ‘I need to buy a crossbow’ then it’s time to go live in the mountains away from society. An occasional anal ‘pip’ is fine but a full on 3+ second air biscuit is reserved only for us. Watching under achieved pub singers try and fight for survival by crying and saying there doing it for there dead dad is crap telly for a bloke, If medieval weaponry was involved then maybe. 1. Awww it’s so small and cute!
2. ‘Now I have had the time of my life, and I’ve never felt like this before yes I swear’
3. Sorry sir have you got another form of payment, your card is declined.
4. I wish you were gay
5. And now on channel 4 a hollyoaks omnibus
6. I’m pregnant
7. That will be £4.20 please
8. Voices in your head
9. Women farting
10. X factor
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